The sun didn’t come out until the solstice in 2015, which is why Icey Man lasted as long as he did. He lasted past the winter, into the spring, past the spring, into the summer; because there was no sun in the spring nor any sun in the summer. Not until the solstice.

From winter to spring, and from spring to early summer, the calendar advanced but the seasons did not. The townspeople marked this aberrance by playfully re-arranging Icey Man's anatomy, employing season-specific fruit and vegetables, to accord first with the sunless spring and then with the sunless early summer.

So, towards the end of March (in order to herald the sunless spring), Icey Man's customary carrot nose was removed and replaced with a fried chicken leg, whilst his stone eyes were removed and replaced with two fried eggs. Towards the end of May (to see out the sunless spring and to see in the new, sunless summer), the eggs were replaced with two lemons and the fried chicken leg was replaced with a frozen lollipop. The lollipop remained frozen until the solstice.

Icey Man regarded all this fuckery with studied bemusement, despite secretly enjoying the attention. It would not have occurred to him that although carrot noses and stone eyes were customary, chicken leg-noses and fried egg-eyes were not. Nor would it have occurred to him that a sunless spring and a sunless early summer were extraordinary, and that his very existence was an anomaly.

When the clouds eventually disappeared and the sun came out, on the summer solstice, Icey Man thought that the huge orb was a lemon. He had two lemons for eyes. His big yellow lemon-eyes were the objects, in his experience, that most closely resembled this bright, burning thing, so that’s what he thought it was.

Icey Man began to melt. An unimaginable heat seared his flesh. The heat was coming from the lemon-like orb in the sky, he knew. The lemon-like orb grew bigger, his pain intensifying as it did so.

A gaggle of townspeople had gathered to watch Icey Man, the mascot of their sunless spring and sunless early summer, as he died. A jaundiced woman was amongst those who watched Icey Man, as he watched the lemon-like orb in the sky liquidate him. She was an alcoholic, and cirrhosis of the liver had caused jaundice. She felt sad that Icey Man was melting, but selfishly welcomed the belated sun, as the yellow complexion of her skin - only a shade or two duller than that of an egg yolk or a lemon - was less noticeable when illuminated by it.

A group of young boys and girls were watching too. The jaundiced woman looked over to them and offered a poignant smile.

“Don’t be smiling at us you yellow-faced bitch.”

 The jaundiced woman looked back from the group of youngsters to Icey Man. One of the boys, affronted by the jaundiced woman's earnestness, swaggered up to Icey Man and began to urinate on his head, which had by now sunk into his melting chest. The urine carved a channel between Icey Man's eyes, hastening the failure of his brain function and bringing to an end his pain and sentience. The jaundiced woman wandered away, pointing her head upwards so as to bathe her face, less noticeably yellow now, in the sun.